Cake For Breakfast

My favourite wedding moment

Aside from absolutely everything else I loved about getting married, this has to be unequivocally my favourite part of our wedding day. The expression on my face says it all because, as I have mentioned, this was completely out of character for my shy and retiring husband. 

I've only included the initial moment here because I don't want to embarrass the poor man by showing his amazing groom's speech to the whole wide world. And besides, it's 8 minutes long and surely no one wants to sit through 8 minutes of speech (again), do they?!

 

Very many thanks to the wonderful Mrs A who captured this and apologies for my techno-idiocy that I couldn't find a more streamlined method of presentation.

Roll credits!

This is a pre-recorded post!

And now, as we approach zero hour, I think it's time to reveal the crack team that has got us this far and will take us over the final hurdle. I should imagine that in reality I am running round like a headless chicken right about now, but I also guess that at least one of these wonderful folks is telling me to chill the hell out. So, without further ado...

Team McWoodhouse Wedding Crew 
Saturday 4th September 2010

♥ Dress :: from the Tia collection by Benjamin Roberts, bought from the lovely little Bristol branch of Clifton Brides

♥ Bride and Bridesmaid shoes :: Dune

♥ Bridesmaid dress :: Jane Jordan

♥ Hair :: Matthew Curtis Hair Design; Cut & Colour :: Central Studio

♥ Hair accessories :: Chez Bec

♥ Make-up :: Make-Up By Katy

♥ Bride's Bracelet :: Liberty In Love

♥ Wedding rings :: Mappin & Webb

♥ Suits :: Cheshire Tailoring

♥ Ties :: Tie Rack

♥ Venue :: Ettington Park Hotel

♥ Musicians :: RT Acoustic Duo

♥ Cake :: Nyree Desiree's Cake Boutique

♥ Florist :: Jennie Cooke (please contact me for details)

♥ Photography :: Source Images

♥ Stationery :: Pink Sherbet Designs

♥ Honeymoon :: Maldives Direct

♥ DJ & PA :: x-cessive entertainment

I'm sure I've probably forgotten someone really important and I'm really sorry if that's the case. Suffice to say, I loveloveLOVE our team and would wholeheartedly recommend each and every one of these suppliers. I believe in them and they deserve your business, so make sure you check them out.

A huge thank you to all of the above for their help, support and patience throughout a varied amount of long-winded emails and hysterical phone calls. Thank you for putting up with me and making our day so much more stress-free.

Father of the Bride (...of Frankenstein?)

It was lovely to see so many adoring posts on Sunday to celebrate Father’s Day, both on blogs and in the Twitter-verse. For my part, I didn’t bother because my Dad’s been on tour for the last three weeks in the States, so I knew he probably wouldn’t even know what day of the week it was, never mind the mighty annual celebration of the Papa. I’m not completely heartless though, I did send him a text.

However, today is his birthday, in which he celebrates being just slightly younger than God’s dog. In honour of that and with belated Father’s Day wishes, this post is dedicated to his role in our wedding which is proving to be…unique.

You see, whilst I am forever pleased to admit that Daddy-dearest is one rock ‘n’ roll dude and has always made people say, “Your Dad’s really cool”, he is not exactly Father of the Bride material. Imagine Ozzy Osbourne without the hair dye and million pound bank balance and you’ve kinda got my dad. If you’ve ever seen that little known film “Still Crazy” with Bill Nighy as an ageing rocker, then you need to look no further than Billy Connolly’s portrayal of the sound engineer to realise that they took the inspiration for that character straight from my Dad. Literally, spitting image.

And herein lies the problem. Whilst our wedding is by no means a big traditional white-wedding and I’ve worked hard at making a fairly relaxed type of day, there has been an ongoing ‘debate’ (see: war) as to what my Pop is going to wear. I can’t ever remember seeing him wear a suit. I think he’s allergic to ties. And the only ‘shoes’ I think he owns are black cowboy boots. All of which is fine except that my mother keeps telling him he must wear a suit and tie and shoes.

Billy Connolly (bottom right) impersonating my Dad.

For his part, he suggested a Victorian-esque frock coat which he thinks he’d feel more comfortable in. We’re a bit concerned he’ll look like some sort of Gothic/Vampire revival. My brother has offered to take him shopping, which made him pale somewhat. He said he’d rather wear a dress than a proper suit. Poor old devil.

For my part, I have said he doesn’t have to wear a tie. An open-neck shirt with a nice charcoal suit that kind of matches the other boys and which he could easily hire would be fine. He could even wear his cowboy boots with that. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable, but I also don’t want our children to be looking at our wedding photos one day and squeal with delight, “What did you let Grandad wear that for?!”

And then there’s the issue that every time my grandmother sees him she says, “You are going to get your haircut before the wedding, aren’t you dear?” Dad’s hair is like his Achilles heel. Touch it and he loses his power. He needs his hair to be a status of the rock n roll life that he has led. I think a trim and making sure he washes it on the morning of the wedding will more than suffice. Granny dearest thinks it’s a good excuse for him to have a ‘sensible’ haircut at last (in fairness, when they first met 30 years ago my dad never brushed his hair and so it was just 2 matted dreadlocks more or less. I kinda think she should quit her bitching and realise how far he’s come!)

So dearest reader, tell me: what can we get my dear old Dad to wear that is in keeping with our simple and chic wedding but also nods at his individuality? Does anyone else have the issue of dressing unorthodox parents, or is it just me?!

Why off the cuff is never enough

Now then, you may remember that I alluded to the fact that I had some input into the best man's speech at our friends' wedding in Cyprus. This was for two reasons: 1) I understand spelling, grammar and basic punctuation and 2) If it had been left up to the best man, he wouldn't have prepared for it and tried to make something up on the spot. I have to say that really all I did was put the sentences in the right order and colour co-ordinate the paragraphs for him, he was the one that came up with the material and the gags.

Nonetheless, I now feel like I have a qualified enough opinion into the strange and mysterious world of blokes involved with weddings to offer a pearl of wisdom or two. Although I have frequented the Staggered pages before now, I had never quite believed the mythical beast that is The Wedding Speech Fear. And maybe that's because, having been brought up in theatre, I am not accustomed to boys who are afraid of being the centre of attention. I'm much more at home with all-singing, all-dancing, high-kicking, jazz-hands, all-eyes-on-me kind of boys.

So imagine my surprise to discover that in reality, most men DON'T want to stand up in a room full of people (even ones they know) and have to say heartfelt/poignant/hilarious things to entertain them. It turns out that this is actually the part of the wedding day that many men dread the most - never mind the huge commitment or the vows in front of God or any of that. And they're not faking it either, it truly is horrifying for them.

Now I admit that I have been somewhat of the opinion of "For God's sake, I've done everything else for this wedding, all you have to do is pick a suit and do a speech, why is that so hard?!". And gents, I think you'll find that many ladies will be feeling this way too. The pressure has more or less been on them to organise most of the day (unless you are in a very progressive and democratic relationship, in which case, I salute you) and this is why it is important that you put your public speaking fears aside and step up. This is the point at which you have to show your new missus exactly what you're made of.

Which is why, you must prepare. Thinking you know what you'll say because you've got three bullet points in your head is not enough. Improvising in the moment is highly inadvisable. Making notes on your iPhone to look at is a definite no-go. What you need to do is take a few moments and sit down with a pen and paper. Even if you just scribble notes in a non-linear fashion that means you keep turning over one bit of paper until it practically disintegrates, this is better than flying by the seat of your pants. Because if nothing else, it's a prop that will give you something to do with your hands.

Ideally, yes, you ought to write out a prolonged and thoughtful speech - be you groom, best man or father of the bride. But the fact is, you need to go with your own style and if reading out big reams of text ain't your thing, then annotate your thoughts so that you've got something to refer back to. Additionally, I think you'll find that having a paper version in your hands will work as evidence to your lovely bride that you have actually put thought into it and then she'll love you even more.

So essentially guys what I'm saying is this: make an effort. The more of an effort you make, the better your speech will come off and the more your lady will love you for it. Additionally, the more prepared you are, the less reason you have to be bricking it.

But also, a note to the ladies: give your guys a break. You have no idea how genuinely horrifying it is for them to have to do what they're about to do. Some of them used to bunk off school to avoid having to do similar things in front of a class full of friends. Some of them still bunk off work to avoid giving presentations to colleagues. This is a genuine fear-mongering plague that is sweeping through the wedding world and even though we might think it's only a little thing, it's the end of the world for the poor chap standing up apprehensively with sweaty palms smudging his writing and the deafening sound of anticipating aunties ringing in his ears...

Groom's threads

Ever so occasionally, my betrothed pipes up with what he thinks is an excellent idea. The latest one was, "Why don't you stop banging on about black and white themes and blog about what men can wear to weddings?"

He's right of course. I'm incredibly sexist. The proof will be in the pudding when we see how many guys leave comments about this post. 

As I understand it, essentially the problem that grooms have is that they really don't know what to wear. I mean sure, they know whether they want an powder blue tuxedo with ruffles or top hat and tails, and they know whether they've got the budget to hire or buy, but then there's the twist you see. Whilst we of the fairer sex think, "Oh, it's just a suit", it turns out there's actually a lot more to it than that.

For our wedding, we have employed the skills of the charming David Asbury at Cheshire Tailoring. He came highly recommended and has been superb at co-ordinating four very different sized men in four different corners of the country. We (and by we I mean my betrothed and his brother) decided that new suits would definitely be in order. Off the peg was not an option because basically we all felt that you don't get much for your money. Department store options are still fairly expensive and let's be honest, they often leave the lads looking like they're on their way to court or on their way home from sixth form. Not a great plan.

As such, Cheshire Tailoring have done a fantastic job of making four bespoke suits to exactly the right measurements and cut of the boys, all with a little individual flair in the linings and finishing touches. And although I thought this might break the bank, it really hasn't, especially when you consider that these suits can actually be worn time and again and one's wedding gown will not see the light of day more than a couple of times.

However, what to do if your own bespoke tailor is not an option?  (And before you rule it out, have a look at A Suit That Fits where suits begin at £150.) 

Well, this really has put me into a conundrum. Our best man is having his own wedding in May, in Cyprus, whereupon my beloved will be returning the best manly duty and therefore needs a(nother!) suit for the occasion. However, this is a sunny, beachy, outdoorsy wedding. Whilst I screamed, "Do it in your shorts!", our best man is looking for something closer to a khaki/chino/beach coloured relaxed suit. I think.

Well, I tell you, I've looked and looked until I'm blue in the face (or until I got distracted by pretty websites) and I don't really have much of an answer for you. As with most things, I like the really effing expensive stuff that is beyond the means of mortals. If you want a decent suit, go see Tom Ford. He is the king of cool suits. 

So here you go, here are some options of varying availability you may wish to consider for your beach wedding/groom/investment piece for life. Remember: a suit's not just for a wedding, it's for life. Get it right and you can be smug for many years to come. Get it wrong and your new wife will burn your wedding photos.

   

 L-R: Hugo Boss (£450), Emporio Armani (£619), Etro (£1,108)