So now you know what a great time we had at the most beautiful wedding I've been to. It really was a wonderful day and if it has inspired you to embark on a similar adventure, I'd like to provide you with some observations about how to minimise the stress of organising your wedding abroad. Again, I would like to stress that I have never personally planned a wedding in a foreign country (as much as I would like the contrary to be true) but these are some ideas that might be worth bearing in mind.
✹ Do more than just your homework. Research is all very well and good, but how well can you really know a place if you've never been there? Do try to go on a reconnaissance trip before booking anything so that you know exactly what you'll be getting.
✹ Take your time to decide. The professionals will have (in most cases) the background knowledge and experience to guide your decision, but don't be pushed by them. This is not just any holiday you're booking. Make sure you're making the right decision for you, and make sure you've got a clear idea of all the implicated costs, both at the time of booking and once you get to the destination.
✹ Make sure you're getting your money's worth. Simple really, and just as relevant a question as it would be for a wedding at home. Don't be confused by the alleged foreign values of services. If you don't think it's worth the asking price, don't book it.
✹ Don't expect foreign destinations to take English wedding traditions for granted. For example, if the bride and groom want to spend the night before the wedding apart, you'll need to arrange this by perhaps booking an extra room or making alternative accommodation arrangements. This is not necessarily something anyone will think to check with you.
✹ Investigate suppliers before you get there. Three days before their wedding, our friends paid £300 for a photographer whose work they had never seen before to come and shoot them for 2 hours and then give them 24 photos only. I don't know if this is standard with destination weddings, but you might like to do your homework first and don't feel you have to go with a single option because "that's who we usually use".
✹ Make sure you really like your family! Whilst having an intimate wedding abroad with just your closest family and friends may seem like the easier option, take time to consider the reality of that situation. If spending a day with your family is a stressful occasion then imagine spending a whole week (or more) with them if they're all likely to travel with you for your destination wedding. For even the most harmonious of families it can still end up being a fraught and exhausting time for the bride and groom who end up feeling obliged to spend time with everyone and make them feel appreciated for making the effort to be there. It is perhaps worthwhile having a chat with your families beforehand to explain that you will be busy organising a lot of the time and so may not get to see them much. Perhaps try to schedule some specific activities or group family dinners so they know when they can expect to see you. Having said that, make sure you make time for just the two of you without the pressure of keeping everyone else happy.
✹ Take some good friends with you to escape. On the back of the previous comment, it might be worth making sure you have trusted companions who can calm you down or take the stress away if only for ten minutes. Nick and I feel we did this job admirably well in Cyprus, and are now available as professional destination wedding chilled out friends. Bookings on request.
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